Once upon a Time, at a Holiday Inn....or maybe a Best Western....(never mind those details, it was a hotel) was an exhausted family of four.
In the usual boring, standard room slept the pastor father, an innocent mother, a 15 year old sister and an 18 year old ME!!!!
(I can tell you are engrossed in this story already!)
We were traveling out west to a family reunion and after a long day of driving through Ontario, we pulled into a hotel for a well deserved rest.
Unfortunately, we were given a room next to people who wanted to rattle the walls all night long. They were screaming and moaning incessantly. Ugh.
Hindsight, I'm pretty sure it was Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele come to life, but we will never know.
Now, as you can imagine....my mother was shocked, but trying to keep her cool with a pillow shoved over her head. My dad was annoyed but tried to sleep none-the-less. My sister couldn't stop giggling and than there was me......sweet, innocent, lil ol' me........*enter angelic smile here*
At first I thought it was pretty funny but after awhile it was far too annoying. Even after I put my walkman on, I could still hear the banging!! (Walkman's are prehistoric iPods just in case any of you are confused)
My parents didn't want to say anything to the front desk, so as usual, I decided to be my family's saving grace.
I started jumping up and down on my bed and smacking the wall behind me yelling through it.
"OH YEAH, that's the stuff....."
"Could you people BE any louder?"
"HEY, PASTOR TRYING TO SLEEP! TAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM! WHILE HE PRAYS FOR YOUR SOUL!!"
"YOU'RE KINKY! IS THIS A PORN SHOOT?"
"DO YOU THINK YOU'LL GET PREGNANT???"
"WHAT IF THE CONDOM BREAKS??"
Yeah, I got reamed out by my parents, but guess what?
Best Selling Novel "Wallbanger" by Alice Clayton (author of the Redhead Series) is another book that has been on my radar for awhile now. Since I am still down and out from whatever devil virus I picked up, I decided to treat myself to another novel. (Two new books in one week....I am such a rebel...spendthrift...book addict....)
Considering I have my own Wallbanger story to tell, reading a novel on the topic was a must!
I do not even know where to begin when describing this novel. It's so bloody hilarious, I wasn't even a few chapters in when I felt compelled to tweet this to the world:
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This is a novel that I may end up buying a copy as a gift for my lil innocent mother to read. I think she would truly get a kick out of it!
Hands down Wallbanger is one of the most entertaining, laugh out loud books that I have read in a long time. I think it just shot to my number one favorite read of the year to date!
The witty banter, sarcastic narrative, clever jokes, sexual innuendos, humorous situations......Reading this book was like what it's like hanging out with my best friends, over glasses of wine, playing Malarky!! SO FUNNY!!
I honestly can't even nitpick, because I don't think there was anything in the book I didn't like. It was refreshing!
I personally thought this novel was so enjoyable that if you don't like it, may I be so bold to suggest you are dead inside? (Dead inside I say!)
I kid, we all have our unique tastes.
A quick run down now that I have done my over-enthusiastic 'must read' rant.
Caroline is hysterical. She's a bit like me. Always having to crack a joke, can be a teensy bit dramatic, loud.....a character after my own heart! She's on a bit of a dating hiatus after a terrible one night stand robbed her of any chance of getting to O-Town (and I am not talking Orlando Florida or the music group who sang Liquid Dreams) The fact that Wallbangers antics continuously rub it in her face that she's missing something in her life AND she is losing sleep makes Caroline grumpy to say the least.
Simon (aka Wallbanger) is her annoying neighbor who has a line up of woman on the go. (Pretty sure I met him once) Naturally he has to be the hottest guy she has ever laid eyes on, but it is hate at first bang on the wall. When she discovers he has some nicknames of his own for her....all hell breaks loose, and it's fantastic!
This story is told a few different ways. The majority of the story is told in Caroline's point of view....than as the story progresses, these hilarious chapters with text messaging between Caroline, Simon and other characters we meet in the novel (her best friends Mimi and Sophia and his friends Ryan and Neil) ....It's an entertaining way to have the time in the story pass! We also are treated to getting inside the heads of the characters during one extremely tense car ride. I really enjoyed those extra elements to the telling of the story and I loved being able to tap into what the other characters were thinking. (If only it was that easy in real life!)
Now I am totally hooked! Wallbanger is book one of The Cocktail Series and now I am overly excited to add these books, and her Bad Redhead series to my ever growing collection!
Round of applause and some catcalls for author Alice Clayton!
The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she’s gaining an—um—intimate knowledge of her new neighbor’s nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy’s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed “dating hiatus,” and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly. . . .
In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...
This is a novel that I WILL be reading over and over again!!!!
Book Two: "Rusty Nailed" releases on June 24th 2014 and is currently up for pre-order on Kobo and Amazon. I am so excited as Caroline and Simon's story continues in this highly anticipated novel!
Book Three: "Screwdrivered" releases on September 2, 2014 and is also up for pre-order. The third book in the Cocktail Series has us meeting new characters and more hilarious antics and Oh My God I can't wait!
You know I will have those reviews for you when I can!!!
Follow Author Alice Clayton on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorAliceClayton
Visit her Website For More Information: http://aliceclayton.com
BUY IT, READ IT, PEE YOUR PANTS!!